


and yes, i'll always know

by littlelooneyluna



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: Character Growth, M/M, Moving On, Pub Quiz 2k18, robert being a soft sad lil bean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-07
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2019-03-01 20:18:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13302420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlelooneyluna/pseuds/littlelooneyluna
Summary: the pub quiz takes place, and this time, robert has to watch aaron team up with someone new.





	and yes, i'll always know

**Author's Note:**

> written based on an idea jenny (@scrapyardboyfriends) wanted to see!

 

It's not meant to be a dig at him, but he would have thought that a year ago.

He would have sworn that a pub quiz on a quiet Tuesday night was Chas' way of trying to prove something.

Something like,

Here's where Alex proves that you've been replaced.

Only now, the air is clearer in his mind and his finger doesn't make a small clinking sound when he drinks his pint.

And so, he rises above the thoughts.

The pub is crowded as he sits and observes, Vic's finally realised he needs his own space and not a night out on the town to try and fish for 'someone new.'

He's _just_ got over Aaron, just come to terms with the fact that they were _done_. He'll take a little longer to begin imagining himself with someone else.

He knows that.

He's got his head round that now and it feels good, it feels good to know that he isn't holding onto something which doesn't exist anymore and -

Chas' voice is all high pitched and screechy and he winces a little as she starts clapping her hands together and bopping happily to the music.

"Right, we've got a pub quiz now and the lovely Frank's going to start so, huddle up and -"

He stops listening, because Aaron's walking in with Alex and he doesn't want to actually be here when it happens.

He tries to escape, drops his head down and hears Alex mumbling something about it being a _right_ laugh. And Aaron, he mumbles something back, something staggered, something like:

_'Alright then.'_

Robert gulps hard, thinks back to the year before. Aaron hadn't wanted to stay, they sort of accidentally found themselves answering all the questions right and whispering in each other ears and just getting a sort of thrill out of this happiness between them.

It's a soft sort of memory.

He's nearly by the door when Aaron looks up and smiles at him. It's only small, hardly anything really but Robert doesn't want to wait around and see how much he can make of it, see how fast he can try and look for something in his eyes.

It's typical of him and yeah, he hates himself for it.

He looks away, turns a little and then he feels a hand on his arm.

It's Vanessa and she's smiling at him.

He doesn't want to be horrible but -

"Going somewhere?" She says, and she's got a playful look on her face, one that makes Robert know that she's up to something. It's not like they're friends or anything, well, sort of, _maybe_ they _are_ but -

"Yeah, Vic's rung me and -"

"Vic who's having a night out?" And apparently she's more of a gossip than he thinks. So, he's honest.

"Don't really fancy sticking around." He shrugs, because she'd seen the whole present disaster in the pub just before Christmas, she knows.

She makes a small sound, "Or you could come over and sit with us." And by us, she means Tracy and David and he doesn't know what to say.

Because yeah, he doesn't really want to spend a whole night -

"Oh come on, Charity'll eat me alive if I look at her one more time." And she makes him smile, makes something settle in his chest and he's walking towards the table awkwardly whilst Chas rabbits on about getting into teams.

 

 

~*~

 

 

He wins Tracy round with his knowledge of the Irish mainlands.

Because she wasn't too keen on the 'Moody Sugden' joining their team.

So he makes up for it, tries not to think about last year as Frank bangs on and tells them he's correct.

He blushes under the praise of David of all people and when he looks over towards the bar, Alex is laughing at something and Aaron shakes his head.

Not in a dismissive way though, in a sort of trying to hide his laugher way and Robert wonders when his skin will stop prickling whenever he hears that sound.

He hears it, again and again and soon it makes something turn warm inside him.

Instead of making him cold, it makes him _warm_ and that's progress.

It must be.

Because when he watches a rather animated Alex click his fingers and whisper an answer lowly into Aaron's ear, he just simply looks away.

He doesn't want to punish him. And maybe that's the real change that's taken place. Not Aaron's happiness or the ring on his finger just -

Looking away instead of watching and feeling everything get broken inside of you again and again.

 

 

~*~

 

 

Alex is a clever bastard, Robert will give him that.

And there's an addition of a science sort of based round and everyone looks at him and Chas is grinning as Aaron lets out a groan because of the attention like its _his_ attention.

And Robert can't help but wonder if that's how it feels to him now. If Alex and him are so much of a _thing_ , that what effects Alex, effects him too.

Robert slides the thought out of his brain, instead listens to Tracy going on about how bad she is at general knowledge, how the quick fire round is theirs for the taking.

And Robert just nods his head, sips at his pint and looks around for their competition. Liv's slipped in with Gerry and Gabby and they're a team now, Diane and Doug in the corner as well.

It won't be _that_ hard, he thinks.

Especially considering now they've got to try and explain a word without _saying_ a word and -

Well Robert's suddenly standing up and becoming animated and he's watching Aaron smile and click his fingers quickly and wave his arms about and they're winning and they're hugging and -

Robert's a stupid sap who needs to learn how to just _leave_ memories where he found them.

In his stupid head.

In the past.

"You alright?" Vanessa's leaning over, she's had a fair few and she's telling him that she's not up for doing the quick fire round. "You and David up for it?" She's asking, head tilted a little and Robert isn't really, but Tracy looks like she's going to fall asleep any second and David seems pretty pumped.

He nods because of that.

And he isn't even that bad really.

David's a little bit more dense than he thought but it doesn't hold them _that_ far back.

Only he can't make stories to jog his memory the way he did with Aaron.

"It's - it's a city in Italy. Dead romantic." He tries to move his hands and get David going and yeah they get there in the end.

"Rome?" David's guessing because apparently Robert banging on about the architecture just isn't working.

In the end they get eight points and it's not amazing but it's something.

And he even watches Aaron clap for them as they sit down, the crinkles around his eyes are soft and visible and make Robert look away.

It hurts less when he does that, hardly hurts at all.

Because of, well you know, progress.

 

 

~*~

 

 

It's their turn now, Robert's watched Gerry nearly spill his pint whilst trying to explain what his word was to a frustrated Gabby.

Robert's never heard someone get so worked up over the name of a superhero before.

Anyways, now Alex is talking quickly and won't stop moving his arms about and he's doing exactly what Robert did last year.

He's trying to attach stories to what the word is.

Only Aaron's just frowning and pulling all these faces and Robert gulps hard.

The words's mug.

"You know, I - you have loads at yours. It's - something you drink out of. It's - your favourite one is green."

'Blue, his favourite one is blue with the different shades.

It starts with a soft light colour and turns darker as it reaches the top.

Aaron winces a little, Alex getting more enthusiastic.

"What? Like a mug?" He stumbles out and Liv's piping up.

"He doesn't even have a green mug. Try again!" She's laughing, shaking her head and that's the way that round goes really.

Painfully.

And they get five points.

Then David and Tracy are doing a more couple sort of round.

The sort which him and Aaron would have excelled in. And it makes Robert wince a little as he _waits_ for Alex and Aaron to start, and they _do_ and -

It's a shitty addition to the pub quiz. Real shitty.

And although David and Tracy don't do so badly, he has to sit and watch Alex totally fuck things up in his attempt to put on some sort of united front.

And he watches Chas' face fall a little by the other side of the bar too.

Aaron's trying, face blushed red and a bead of sweat on his forehead. "What's my favourite place to go?" And Frank's over his shoulder, leaning down and everyone is just staring at Alex as he struggles and _yeah_ , it's not a pretty sight.

Because whilst Alex's face is blank, Robert's mind works overtime.

It screams,

_The beach._

_It's his favourite place because it's special and it reminds him of a soft sort of innocence and he feels so safe when he's there._

"Mind's gone blank." Alex explains with his hands. "Your bed?" And everyone starts laughing, no tension behind it, only Robert can see the way Aaron's eyes flicker. "What? You're not really a morning person are ya?"

And _yeah_ he is.

More so than people think. He'll push his head down and groan at the slightest noise you make but -

He'll always turn over and smile and say,

"Better make it worth while." And so -

"Alright, alright." Aaron's shaking his head, "It was the beach but maybe I haven't said." And Robert's heart drops, he feels Liv looking over at him as if she knows that he knew and -

It makes him look away.

And then Frank is taking over and acting like a game show host.

"Okay Alex, what's Aaron's favourite takeaway?" He's saying and Robert's eyes flicker a little.

_Pizza, hands down._

Liv knows, Gerry fucking knows by the looks of it but Alex says,

"Chinese?" He's all unsure and Aaron closes his eyes for a second before shaking his head.

And that carries on.

Because yeah, it _is_ pizza. Nothing beats that level of comfort food.

And then yeah, the answer _is_ his car. His most valued possession.

And then yeah, the answer _is_ his eyes. They're his favourite feature, Robert knows, he wanted _him_ to know how beautiful they are and he's proud that Aaron finally sees what he saw, _sees_.

It carries on and they stumble and yep Alex gets some right, he really does but Robert gets more right.

He doesn't want to say naturally he does, only Liv keeps staring at him like she's waiting for him to smirk and he doesn't.

He _wouldn't_.

He just sits there, silently burning as he knows every fucking weird question. Every single one and -

He holds his breath until it's over, until Aaron's blowing out a breath and Alex is looking all embarrassed and Robert feels something lodged in his heart almost.

This feeling of _release_ washes through him, the timing goes off and it's done he supposes.

And Robert's team win. David buys him another pint and he dares to join him at the bar.

He dares to be a few inches away from Aaron, watches Alex disappear into the toilets and Aaron's body turn towards him a little.

"Congrats." He says, a softness in his voice which Robert latches onto, smiles a little and looks back at how Vanessa and Tracy are laughing their heads off about something.

He's had a laugh, it's been _nice_ he supposes, and watching Aaron and Alex the whole night could have been painful but it wasn't.

And that's _good_.

"Cheers." Robert says, pulls his hands into the golden hem of the bar and shudders under its coldness. "It's all my general knowledge see, I sort of gave us an early lead." He explains, almost a little confident and then he sees Aaron roll his eyes playfully.

"And then Alex cocked it up for us." Aaron says honestly, no bite in his voice but this underlining sort of sadness. His shoulders hang and suddenly Robert knows he wouldn't be speaking like this to Liv or Gerry. He'd pretend it was just a stupid game, only Robert sees what it means. “He doesn’t know me like you do.”

And he doesn't want to read into it too much.

He just shakes his head. “Not now maybe but - give him time to -”

But Aaron, well he sips his beer, leans closer just a little as Chas has her back turned. "You knew about the beach." He tells him, "The car, the fact that I could speak a little bit of French." And Robert doesn't know whether or not to admit it.

He's not sure if it's a question or just an answer but -

He goes to speak but Alex is coming back into the room and Aaron's leaning in even closer now, hot breath against Robert's ear.

"I saw ya mouth move. You do that without even noticing sometimes." He says hastily, before he's pulling back and turning, watching Alex sit down with Liv and abandon his pint at the bar.

Maybe he got the sign that Aaron was preoccupied with Robert.

It doesn't matter though, it's not like Robert can say anything. He's just turning redder and his eyes are flickering and he scoffs a little before -

"Used to drive me _mad_ when ya did that." Aaron's shaking, almost tutting and Robert just looks at him. He just want stop.

And then Aaron's smiling and there's something so easy about the way he does it which makes Robert give in.

"Force of habit." He says and Aaron looks at him more seriously, almost lovingly and there's this heaviness between them which they cannot deny.

Because Robert knew all the answers, he _just_ knew and he'd always know.

He wouldn't forget them, his mind wouldn't let that happen because he's as stubborn as Aaron is.

And it's mad really, it must be more than a little mad, for Aaron to look at Robert and know that he knows so much about him.

That this person who isn't _his_ person anymore, is out there in this world just _knowing_ him.

Aaron's eyes flicker a little and he clears his throat, "Must be." It looks like he has to mull it over and then decides against it, almost signifies it with a shake of a head. "You want to join us?" He asks, and it's to sound polite, like a grown up above the noise of the pub.

But Robert's a grown up back and shakes his head, thanks him kindly but declines.

And he leaves the pub altogether, feels Vanessa catch him by the arm and ask why he isn't staging for a celebratory drink. He doesn't even say anything, his face must give it away because she tuts and draws him into a hug and he finds himself whispering,

"I knew every single one." Before he's pulling away and leaving the pub and the image of Liv's face looking up at him with almost pity in her eyes and Alex's arm draped over Aaron's shoulder as Chas looks almost triumphant, is burning into his mind.

And he doesn't feel smug, doesn't feel like he's won and he will keep on winning.

He just _feels_ empty and he _sees_ them happy, sees how little it even mattered really because they were this soft sort of settled weren't they?

_'I knew every single one.'_

He shakes it out of his head, can't do anything about it as his mind screams:

_Yeah, and that's never going to change._

Aaron has the exact same thoughts running round his head too as Alex pulls his arm further around his back.

He shuffles out of his hold.

 

**Author's Note:**

> let me know what you thought!


End file.
